


Erejean Week 2015

by SilverEyedRaven



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Airplanes, Author!Jean, Fake Relationship, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Tattoo headcanons, Tattoos, Wigs, actor!Eren, airplane rides, arranged dates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-20 07:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3642444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverEyedRaven/pseuds/SilverEyedRaven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles for erejean week 2015</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Road Trip (Plane Ride)

**Author's Note:**

> uh, airplane rides count as a road trip technically, right?

Jean _hates_ planes. Loathes them with a burning passion, seething hatred, the whole nine yards. It’s gotten worse since his book has gotten popular, and now someone always recognizes him and asks for an autograph. Not that he minds, it’s flattering, but after one person gets one, _everyone_ wants one, and he’s suddenly a major annoyance to the flight attendants and every passenger who doesn’t recognize him or hated the book, and if there’s something he hates other than planes, it’s negative attention.

Marco was kind enough to loan him a wig from their collection of “girl day” things, so, if all goes well, that won’t happen this time, and he can enjoy his popping eardrums and shitty airplane food in peace.

He shimmies his shoulders back into his seat with a sigh, starting to get comfortable, and a jackass with a filthy tattered backpack throws himself into the seat next to him, the bag and the guy both practically in Jean’s lap. _Fantastic_.

It only gets better when the jackass pulls out _his book_ after the plane takes off. But Jean’s got to look on the bright side, he has the new Marina and the Diamonds album and the window seat. If anyone wants an autograph, they’re going to have to lean over the jackass, who decides now’s the time to elbow him in the ribs, despite his closed eyes and _clear_ don’t-fucking-talk-to-me body language.

“ _What._ ” Jean snaps, ripping his ear buds out.

“Have you read this?!” The guy stage whispers, eyebrows furrowed and undeterred.

Huh. He doesn’t recognize him. Jean makes a mental note to thank Marco for the wig even more later. “Yes?”

“Do you mind if I rant to you about it?” He asks.

“Yes?”

He barrels on as if Jean hadn’t answered, eyes flicking between the books pages and Jean’s face. “The author is ridiculously pretentious. I mean, seriously? ‘Maddox walked like an alley cat, his limp barely detectable under a confident swagger, his face and hands scarred like he had been knocked about, only to get back up and return the favor.’ Who says shit like that?!”

Jean almost chokes. “Clearly he thought it was good?”

“And then, I will give credit where it’s due, he does write stellar female characters, but he describes Ral as a ‘voluptuous, nimble-fingered _dame_ with wine red lips.’ If pretentiousness was a contest, he would win a gold medal.”

Jean can’t decide if he wants to sock the guy or sink into the seat and disappear forever. Luckily for his psyche or for the jackasses face, he turns back to the book, muttering something about the city being too rainy for anyone wanting to actually live there.

Its right about then that Jean realizes that the guy looks exactly like his main character.

Jean is absolutely doomed. He can see it in the way his lips purse, the tiny flicks upwards of the jackasses hands in exasperation at something on the pages, brown skin, the scar across his nose and jade green eyes, slightly upturned at the corners. Hell, even his hair, scruffy and curled at the ends. Jean is doomed, doomed, doomed. He’s going to look out the window now, and not at the jackass. He’s not going to look at the jackass for the remainder of the flight, he’s a self-respecting, apparently pretentious as hell author, and he knows if he looks at the guy too long he WILL end up developing a crush.

Five minutes later, he’s staring at the guy again. God damn it.

He’s making extremely entertaining faces. Jean’s not entirely sure how it’s possible to be so adorable and attractive at the same time. He’s probably not human. But he’s a few pages away from Maddox being revealed as bi, and Jean can’t wait to see this.

Jean’s seconds away from screaming and/or breaking a window and jumping out when the jackass gets to the page. He watches his eyes scan down the page, sees them narrow and widen, and-

He slams the book shut.

Jean is whole heartedly disappointed. He didn’t set his hopes high, there was always a chance, but of course the jackass is a homophobe. Or a biphobe. Whichever.

The jackass opens the book and reads the page again, then shuts it gently and sets it in his lap.

It takes Jean a few seconds to realize the strange noise he’s hearing is him _giggling_.

The guy slaps both hands over his mouth in an effort to stifle the sounds, shoulders shaking, and there are honest to Christ tears in his eyes, and Jean finds himself laughing too.

At the end of their little laughing fit, they shake hands and the jackass introduces himself as Eren, Eren Jaeger. Jean tells him he looks exactly like how he pictured Maddox instead of his name. Eren laughs.

“I’ve been told. That’s why I’m going to the casting call next week, thought I’d fly down early.”

Oh no.

If Eren gets the part, and he’s going to, Jean knows it, he’s going to have to see him every damn day. He almost wishes he hadn’t demanded to have a hand in every aspect of the movie, because he’s going to vote for Eren no matter what, and Eren already hates his guts and thinks he’s a pretentious dickhead, oh god-

“You alright?” Eren says, and Jean realizes he’s staring.

“Wow. Uh. Yeah. I hope you get the part.” Jean says, a bit too quickly. “So, what do you think?”

Eren flops back into his seat, grinning a ridiculously attractive lopsided grin. “I love it. My sister, Mikasa said that there was a surprise I would love, ‘cuz I read half of it and then put it down ‘cuz the author is  _such_  a dick about his writing that it was hard to swallow, but she wouldn’t tell me what it was. This is fantastic, I’m so glad it’s gotten popular enough for a movie, a person of color bisexual hero on TV, jesus.” Eren runs his hands down his face. “And one that is in  _genre_ fiction, not a LGBT book? Man oh man this is great.” He starts doing something that looks almost like a dance, and Jean still doesn’t know if he wants to laugh or punch the guy. It’s not like Eren  _knows_  he’s insulting Jean to his face, but still. Negative attention, Jean doesn’t like it.

“What’s your favorite part? Eren asks.

“The ending, I think.” Jean says carefully, not wanting to give away anything. “You should be a book editor, fuck being a movie star.”

“Ya think?” Eren says.

“Of course. I can see you slamming a manuscript down on someone’s desk and shouting at them.” Jean clears his throat and lowers his voice to match Eren’s rich pitch. “’Your cast is as straight and white as the paper your book is printed on, you insufferable prick! Add some queer characters, for god’s sakes!’”

Eren snorts and rolls his eyes. “I don’t sound  _quite_  like that. But I’ll keep it in mind as a backup career.”

Eren goes back to his book, and Jean goes back to staring out the window, fighting down the blush crawling across his cheeks.   It’s quiet until Eren’s strangled squeak of outrage signals he’s finished the book, and Jean grins, turning back to Eren frantically flipping through the last few blank pages, like he’s hoping that there’ll be something other than acknowledgements.

“That’s bullshit, that’s some real high class bullshittery right there. That’s  _evil_ , that’s  _vile_ …” He mutters, and yep, there it is, that’s why the ending is his favorite. He spent more time on that one part than almost any other part of the book, and not a day goes by without him reveling in the reactions it receives. He lives for it.

“How the  _hell_  is that part your favorite?” Eren hisses. “ _Blowing up_  Maddox’s boyfriend is your favorite? What the  _hell_  is wrong with you?! What the hell is wrong with the author, the oh so pretentious Mr…” Eren looks at the front cover quickly. “Gene Christian!”

“Jean Kirschstein.” Jean corrects automatically, then cringes.

“Jean. Whatever. Fuck him.”

Jean shakes his head, smiling.

“…I can see why you would like the ending the best, though.”

“What?”

“He quits being so high and mighty for the last three chapters! It felt… grittier? More realistic and natural. And when Maddox’s boyfriend died it was earth chattering. I felt like I could feel time slowing down, the heat from the fire, the fragmented thoughts, it was mind-blowing, really. I wish the whole book had been written like that.”

Jean doesn’t quite know how to respond. Those last three chapters were a labor of love, and actual praise for it rather than shock and outrage is making him feel a little like he’s glowing, tiny moths beating their wings against his ribs frantically.

Eren starts pulling Maddox’s lines from the book and reading them, testing out different voices for Jean’s approval until Jean stops him and tells him “just to use his regular voice, you don’t need an accent to play as Maddox.”

Eren asks his name as they exit the plane. Jean shoots him what he hopes is a cocky grin and makes an _attempt_ to pull off his wig, but ends up with him nearly in tears with several clumps of hair in his hands. Eren laughs and ends up sitting him down in a chair and helps him pull the wig off, as well as the wig cap, and what only seemed like ten when Marco put them in this morning but suddenly is millions of bobby pins out of his hair.  Jean thanks him and ruffles his hair, dislodging _another_ bobby pin, and Eren finally gets a proper look at his face with the wigs hair not obscuring his forehead and eyebrows, and his face just _drops_.

It’s _priceless_.


	2. Day Two - First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you remember that craigslist ad abt the felon who offered to fuck up your thanksgiving and piss off ur dad....
> 
> yeah....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw for drinking, fire, mentions of rape, and ableist language probably?  
> this was gonna be longer but deadlines
> 
> if u dont remember the post im talking about please read it in all its glory here
> 
> http://o.aolcdn.com/hss/storage/midas/c7def04e2b749df36580511599ea4a72/201139948/thanksgiving-date-offer.jpg

It starts with a “You’re Disappointing Us” and a craigslist ad.

Jean always browses craigslist when he’s upset, he’s not sure when it became a comfort thing, but it did. It’s a little like Connie’s online shopping, except he never spends any money.

The title “Alone on thanksgiving? Mad at your dad?” catches his eye, because yes he is, and _yes he is_.

Now he has a date with an ex-felon for lunch on Friday, and if all goes as planned (meaning the guy, Eren, doesn’t actually end up murdering him) he also has a date for thanksgiving, checking off one of the things his parents had just berated him about.

 

\--*--

 

He’s at the restaurant, and Eren is nowhere to be found. Jean sighs and sits down at a table outside, he hates waiting but he’ll do it if it mean he can finally cleanse the echoing “twenty four year old kid with no college degree, no car, no date, your mother and I expected better from you, Jean, we’re disappointed.” out of his ears.

His phone buzzes.

**From: felon/thanksgiving date:**

**HOLY SHIT. LOOK UP ALREADY.**

Jean looks up. Someone is very aggressively waving at him from another table, but it doesn’t look even remotely like Eren. He gets up and walks over when the guy drags a hand down his face and makes a “come hither” gesture.

“What?”

“Gene Christian?” The guy says, standing up and holding out his hand for him to shake, and oh man, this must be Eren, and his voice is weirdly attractive away from his crackling phone.

“Jean Kirschstein.” He corrects, shaking his hand. “You must be Eren?”

He nods and sits back down. “Yeah. And drop the formal shit, dude, sounds weird.”

Jean sits down. “You look… Different than the photo you put out.”

“Yeah, shoulda told you the photo was old. Lots of stuff changes when you go to jail, drop ten pounds in baby fat, and grow out a mohawk.” Eren says, smiling at the waitress when she walks over to ask them what they’d like to drink.

“So,” Jean says, the second she walks away, “I hate to make it awkward, but, uh-,”

“Arson, assault, public intoxication, weapons violation, a buncha petty shoplifting things and motor vehicle theft. No rape or murder, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Jean slumps back in his seat. “Oh, okay. Wait. Arson?”

Eren smiles, leaning forward in his seat like he’s telling a campfire story. “Kinda proud of that one. So this guy comes after my sister, right? Tries to rape her. She beats the shit out of him, ‘course, Mika’s a badass, bless her. But I figure that’s not enough of a punishment for him, ‘cause that’s sort of the unforgiveable act. So me and my friends gotta do something to him. This guy loves his car, this big ass gas guzzler hummer, calls it his baby, the whole shebang. He came rolling up to Annie’s place, you know the mechanic’s shop downtown? Little run down?” He waits until Jean nods to continue. “She was one of my buddies, we’re still good friends. He went up to her one time, crying and begging her to tell her what was wrong with his baby. I don’t even call _my_ car my baby, and I was _living_ in it for a good six months at one point. So we’re sitting in our little group vent session and she goes, “we could burn his car”, and you put our drunken dumb ass heads together and we think everything’s a god sent plan.”

It turns out that Eren is a very, _very_ good story teller, and he talks with his hands.

The story ends in the middle of their food, with Eren making his One Phone Call to Pizza Hut and ordering pizza for the entire police station, another bad decision in a big long line of bad decisions. Some of which include getting shitfaced drunk, kicking the shit out of a would-be rapist (Jean’s not sure if that’s a bad decision or not) Molotoving a hummer with all of the guy’s credit cards, cash, most of his prized possessions, and his driver’s license inside of it, hijacking someone else’s car to go for a joyride in (they did have a designated driver, whether or not she could see over the steering wheel at all is another matter entirely), and then breaking a cops nose.

“Holy shit.” Jean says, gently setting down his fork and knife. “ _Holy shit._ ”

“Yep.” Eren says casually, as though he had just told Jean about the weather, and not about a crime spree that helped land him in jail.

“Oh my god!”

“I told you I was a felon!”

“Yeah but, I mean, holy shit! That’s just… That’s wild. What other shit did you get into?”

Eren grins. “Can’t tell you all my stories, man, gotta save some to horrify your parents with on thanksgiving.”

Jean may or may not have completely forgotten about that. “Oh yeah. Speaking of which, we probably need to talk about that.”

“Mmhm. So tell me, Jean, I put the ad out there because my friend Armin thought it would be hilarious. It was more of a joke than anything. But you’re actually genuinely interested in having me royally fuck up your thanksgiving dinner. Why?” Eren asks, gently knocking Jean’s knee with his own when he stares at his lap and doesn’t answer. “Hey. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want.”

Jean sighs, rolling his shoulders back and looking Eren in the eyes. “It’s a bit of a sob story, and I don’t want you to pity me. You sure you want to hear it?”

Eren shrugs. “I don’t have any pity to give anyone. Go for it.”

“Well, I’m a twenty-four year old kid who went to college for two years, took a semester off because I was on the verge of a mental breakdown, and then never went back. My older sister, Hitch, she runs a publishing company and I don’t even own a car. My parents gave me a talk along the lines of ‘You’re disappointing us, we expect better from our son’, and so, Jesus this sounds bad when I say it out loud, but I kind of wanted to show them what I could be like? I don’t know.” Jean runs his hands through his hair. “I just want them to stop comparing me to my sister.”

Eren watches him for a few seconds, green eyes so intense that Jean shifts and fidgets in his seat, Eren’s fingers tapping a smooth rhythm in the table.

Eren suddenly cracks a grin. “Alright. I’ll give ‘em a hell of a thing to compare you to. Do your parents flip over tattoos and piercings? Can I wear a dress?”

Jean smiles. “Go for it. Wait, you have tattoos?”

Eren gently whacks him on the nose and tells him that he’ll get to see them at the dinner, and which of the guests should he hit on?

 

Jean’s parents are absolutely ecstatic when he sits them down and tells them that he’s been seeing someone for over a year now.

They are less excited to find out that his date is a convicted felon.

 

“It’s not an actual date,” Jean tells himself, straightening his bowtie in the mirror. “You’re not actually dating him, who cares what you look like?”

He fidgets with the sleeves of his dress shirt, wondering how Eren would like them. Probably rolled up, not buttoned around the wrists.

Who cares what Eren thinks, you’re not going to see him ever again, it’s just a night to freak his parents out, and it doesn’t matter if Eren looks adorable or if Eren finds him attractive. It doesn’t matter.

He fixes his sleeves anyways.

“Jeanbo!” Hitch hollers up the stairs. “Quit primping and get down here! Aunt Frieda has missed you!”

He sighs and texts Eren.

**To: Eren**

**Yo when will u be here im being forced into mingling w/o a distraction and my bowtie is suffocating me**

**From: Eren**

**BOWTIE? EW TAKE IT OFF AND UNBUTTON YOUR SHIRT A LIL UR HOT FLAUNT IT. TEN MINS TOPS.**

His blush doesn’t help the stifle the ribbing he gets from his family about his new “booooooyfriend” as Hitch so helpfully tells them.  It’s a blessing when he hears his mother gasp in the kitchen and call out to him.

“Jean, is- is that your boyfriend’s car?”

“Does it look like Eddie Van Halen’s guitar?” Jean asks, biting back a laugh.

“Yes, aggressively so!”

Jean laughs his way outside to meet Eren, who leans out his car’s window to pull Jean’s face just close enough for it to look like theyre kissing, the straps of his navy blue dress falling off of his tan shoulders (covered in tattoos of flowers, of all things).

His green eyes practically spark with mischief as he says, “Let the games begin.”

This date is supposed to be platonic, but Jean is just a little bit in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please please pLeasE leave feedback!! kudos are appreciated!!
> 
> my tumblr is bertholdt-fubarr

**Author's Note:**

> please leave feedback! kudos are appreciated!


End file.
